Whenever financially feasible, hiring a domestic helper to care for an elderly parent can bring tremendous relief to families in Singapore. This takes away some of the burden from adult children, who can then better balance their responsibilities between work and family.
Having a helper doesn't mean that caregiving duties can be handed over entirely without the family's involvement or oversight.
If a helper needs to grab groceries at a nearby convenience store, who looks after your parents? Does your helper know what to do if your parent suddenly experiences discomfort in the living room while she's cleaning the bedroom? And a helper should not be expected to work without rest, so what happens during her rest days?
Caring for an elderly parent is not just about having someone physically present. There needs to be a support system with clear procedures, regular communication and a safe living environment.
Here are 10 important things families should consider setting up, regardless of whether they've just hired a domestic helper or are personally providing care for their elderly parents.
1. Establish a Daily Care Routine
A familiar daily routine can help provide comfort and a sense of stability for elderly individuals who may be experiencing cognitive decline or living with dementia.
Establish a routine with your domestic helper that accommodates your parent's preferences, medical needs and physical abilities.
This should include, but is not limited to:
- Meals and hydration: Regular mealtimes, a healthy and well-balanced diet, and sufficient fluids throughout the day.
- Medication: Set scheduled reminders and provide instructions for prescribed medication. Where possible, include acknowledgements so you know the medication has been taken.
- Personal hygiene: Bathing, dressing, toileting and grooming where required.
- Physical activity: Gentle exercises such as slow walks or physiotherapy exercises as recommended by healthcare professionals.
- Rest and sleep: Consistent sleeping times, including naps where appropriate.
Where possible, include your parent in planning the routine. This allows them to maintain their independence and participate in everyday decisions, contributing positively to their emotional wellbeing.
The objective is not to control their activities every hour of the day, but to create a schedule that's predictable and comfortable while preserving their dignity.
2. Prepare a Medical Information and Emergency Contact Sheet
Things can happen while you're at work. Your domestic helper needs to be able to respond immediately, beyond simply calling you. She should be able to explain existing medical conditions to emergency responders and be familiar with prescribed medications, rather than having to hand over an entire bag of pills.
A simple medical information sheet can make a significant difference in the event of an emergency.
We recommend including the following information:
- Full name (as stated in government documents) and date of birth.
- Existing medical conditions.
- Known allergies.
- Current prescribed medications, dosages and schedules.
- List of doctors, clinics or hospitals they visit regularly.
- Next-of-kin and emergency contact details.
- Any special medical instructions.
Keep this information easily accessible to the helper, but ensure it is stored securely, as it contains sensitive personal details.
Update the sheet whenever there are changes, additions or removals to keep it relevant.
It may seem like a simple task, but emergencies can be chaotic. Having the right information readily available can help avoid unnecessary delays.
3. Create a Safe Environment at Home
While familiarity is important, especially as a person ages, the existing setup and layout of a home may become more challenging over time.
Deterioration in mobility, balance, eyesight and muscle strength can significantly increase the risk of falls and other household accidents.
We may sometimes brush off the little things, but try walking through your parents' home from their perspective.
Is there furniture that seems out of place? Are there cables and wires running across the floor that could trip them? Many falls happen in the bathroom. Is the floor slippery when wet? Can they reach the light switches when getting up at night to use the bathroom?
Some practical improvements we suggest include:
- Installing grab bars near toilets, showers and perhaps even staircases.
- Using non-slip flooring or anti-slip mats.
- Removing loose cables, rugs and clutter.
- Improving lighting so the home is well-lit throughout.
- Keeping frequently used items within easy reach, such as toothbrushes and medication.
- Providing suitable walking aids or mobility assistance devices where recommended.
- Ensuring beds and chairs are at an appropriate height, making it easier to get on and off them.
These simple changes can help reduce the risk of accidents at home.
4. Establish an Emergency Response Plan
An important question to ask is:
Does your helper know exactly what to do when something goes wrong?
During emergencies, shock, confusion and hesitation can lead to unnecessary delays, and these delays can potentially impact lives.
Every household should have a clear emergency response plan that the helper understands and can easily follow.
For example:
If your parent falls:
Check if they're responsive and breathing normally. Avoid attempting to lift or move them unnecessarily, particularly if there is severe pain, a suspected head, neck or back injury, or an inability to move. Seek urgent medical assistance by dialling 995 when a serious injury or medical emergency is suspected. Do not assume your helper knows which number to call.
If your parent shows signs of a stroke, remember FAST:
- F - Face: Is one side of the face drooping?
- A - Arms: Is there weakness or numbness in one arm?
- S - Speech: Is speech slurred, incoherent or difficult to understand?
- T - Time: Call 995 immediately. Every second counts.
If your parent experiences severe chest pain, breathing difficulties or becomes unresponsive:
Call 995 immediately. Follow the emergency dispatcher's instructions, including CPR guidance where appropriate.
Besides calling emergency services, the helper should know whom to contact. Keep all emergency numbers and contacts clearly displayed, and practise these scenarios with your helper.
Helpers may come from countries where language differences could create additional challenges during emergencies. Consider having important information translated into a language they understand.
Lastly, establish clear priorities. The helper should never delay calling emergency services while trying to contact family members or waiting for their permission.
5. Set Clear Expectations and Responsibilities
Domestic helpers are often hired for both domestic work and caregiving, juggling multiple responsibilities ranging from household cleaning to caring for the elderly.
Setting clear expectations and caregiving responsibilities helps prevent misunderstandings.
Discuss with your helper what is expected of her.
For example:
- Does your parent require assistance when walking? If so, household chores should be put on hold while helping them move around.
- Does your parent require assistance when going to the bathroom?
- Which activities require professional nurses rather than a domestic helper?
A domestic helper can assist with daily living activities but may not be trained to provide medical or nursing care. Adult children also need to be realistic about the level of care a helper can provide.
Clear responsibilities help protect both your parent and the helper from unrealistic expectations.
6. Create a Simple Communication System
For adult children who spend most of their time at work, communication with the helper is key to understanding how their parents are doing at home.
For example, creating a WhatsApp group chat with family members for daily updates can be useful.
Don't expect a lengthy daily report. Focus on meaningful observations such as:
- Did Mum eat regularly today?
- Did she sleep longer than usual?
- Was there anything unusual about Dad's appetite?
- Is he quieter than normal?
- Did anything unusual happen at home?
Encourage your helper to freely report any noticeable concerns, even if they may seem minor.
The objective is to encourage communication without creating unnecessary pressure. Your helper should feel comfortable highlighting concerns without fear of being blamed or held responsible whenever something goes wrong.
7. Plan for the Helper's Rest Days and Unexpected Absences
Plan ahead. What happens when the helper takes her weekly rest day?
For elderly parents who are still independent and mobile, having monitoring tools such as cameras at home may provide additional reassurance during the helper's absence. But for someone with mobility challenges, dementia or a history of falls, being alone without someone looking after them may pose a risk.
Families should plan ahead wherever possible. Consider:
- Having family members, such as siblings, take turns accompanying the elderly parent.
- Arranging respite care.
- Preparing meals and medications in advance.
- Using appropriate remote monitoring technology for additional reassurance.
Besides rest days, it's equally important to plan for unexpected situations, such as when a helper becomes unwell and needs rest too.
Caregiving should never depend entirely on one individual, whether it's a family member or a domestic helper.
8. Consider Technology as an Additional Layer of Reassurance
Even with a live-in domestic helper, there are moments when your elderly parent is alone. For example, the helper may be cleaning another room, making a trip to buy groceries or simply buying lunch.
For family members who are not physically present, there's always this lingering question:
Is Mum or Dad okay right now?
Many households install conventional CCTV cameras to keep an eye on their elderly parents.
While these CCTV cameras allow families to view what's happening at home, they generally rely on family members actively checking the video feed.
Often, incidents occur when nobody is watching and may go unnoticed until someone happens to check.
This is where newer AI-assisted elderly monitoring technology can offer additional support.
Rather than requiring family members to constantly watch live footage, systems such as ELLO are designed to detect critical events such as falls, distress, smoke and fire, and notify caregivers when attention may be needed.
However, monitoring technology should complement human care, not replace it.
Privacy is equally important. Families should discuss monitoring arrangements with their elderly parents and domestic helpers, explain why monitoring is needed and agree on where cameras will be installed.
It's about creating an additional safety net for the elderly person, the helper and the entire family.
9. Don't Forget the Helper's Wellbeing
Caring for the elderly can be physically and emotionally exhausting.
Even more so when supporting someone who requires constant attention or assistance, experiences poor sleep or lives with dementia.
Domestic helpers are human too. They may experience stress, fatigue and loneliness, particularly when they're far from their own families and living in a foreign country.
As employers, we should provide them with the reassurance and support they need so they can perform their duties responsibly.
A helper who feels supported is more likely to communicate openly and feel confident in her responsibilities.
After all, caregiving shouldn't be one person's job. It should involve the whole family.
10. Review the Care Plan as Things Change
Ageing and changes in health often go hand in hand, although not always in a straight line.
An elderly parent who was independent six months ago may now require some assistance with walking or remembering where things are kept.
Similarly, an elderly person who has recently been discharged from hospital may have different needs from someone who has been ageing at home.
Ask yourself:
- Has my parent's mobility changed?
- Are they experiencing more dizzy spells?
- Have their eating habits changed?
- Does the helper seem more stressed than before?
- Does the home require additional safety equipment?
- Would professional assistance or community services help?
Where possible, include your parent in these conversations.
Growing older doesn't mean losing the right to be involved in decisions about one's own life. Usually, the best arrangements are those made together with the person receiving care.
Caring for Your Parents Is a Shared Responsibility
Hiring a domestic helper is often one of the most practical options when caring for an ageing parent.
However, this does not mean that the responsibility of caregiving now rests entirely with your helper.
A good caregiving arrangement combines a safe home environment, clear and established routines, appropriate training, open communication and a reliable support network.
We should also recognise that domestic helpers need rest, just like everyone else, and that elderly parents deserve to maintain their independence and dignity.
At ELLO, we believe technology should support caregiving, give adult children peace of mind and simplify the process rather than further complicate an already challenging situation at home.
Because caring for someone isn't about watching them every minute, but knowing when they might need you and being there for them.